Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
