david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
