We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
