just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
