Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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