The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
