I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
