don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I did not marry a roomba.
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