When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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