Porn is love you can see.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
