Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
