wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
