all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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