I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
