I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You smell like stripper and shame
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
