hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
