i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
