I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
