his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
