i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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