Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
