You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
