Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
