She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
