There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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