Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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