What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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