Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize