i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
