making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
