Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize