she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
