shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
