his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
