new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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