Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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