Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nicole vs. Life
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
