think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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