It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
