THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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