well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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