she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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