and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
