She announced her abortion via fbk
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
