Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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