I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
