I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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