One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The best revenge is premature balding
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
