oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
