does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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