but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
