Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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