We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
