Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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