well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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