we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
