I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
