just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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