***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Randomize
