apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
