3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
