I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
