we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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