we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
