also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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