is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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