some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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