I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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