btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
