we're blogging at a bar
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
