Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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